Marriage Is A Spiritual Relationship
Human marriage reflects the spiritual relationship between Christ and
the Church. Even though we live out our Has God Given Us Instructions to Follow For Marriage?
Or, are we left
on our own to figure the rest of it out? Are we left wondering what
God really intended? The answer is: God our creator has indeed given
us sound instructions regarding marriage…
The First Marriage
The importance of
marriage in the bible is perhaps best seen in its placement in the
book. After creation itself the bible begins with… a married
couple. In the beginning God made two models in His own likeness or
after His own kind. One was male and the other was female - Gen
1:27 (note: the fact that they were different sexually but still
both in God’s image tells us that sexuality or gender is not a
factor in being made in God’s image).
God the creator
gave the man and the woman the ability to reproduce through sex…
“be fruitful and increase in number”! They had body parts
that fit together in an obvious manner that made reproduction and
increase happen. This is a truth from biology and creation that
should be self evident. And what did God say about this self evident
reality? He looked at what He had made and said “this is good” –
Gen 1:31.
Sexuality is more
than just having the right parts. It is the centerpiece of a
relationship that takes place on a very high level… a God plane
relationship… marriage between a man and a woman… which teaches
us about the relationship of Christ and the Church… of which you
are part.
Gen 2:18
Man was not designed to be alone… a man is designed to be with a
woman. Likewise the woman was explicitly and specifically made to be
a companion on his own level.
Regarding the
word help or helper: it’s a translation of the Hebrew
word ay'-zer, used 21 times in OT… mostly to describe God
in action. For example: “We wait in hope for the LORD; He is our
help and our shield” Ps 33:20 … so its not necessarily
conveying the sense of subordination we have in our common use of the
word “helper” in the English language.
I say this to
emphasize the high level of the husband and wife relationship… the
God plane level of this marriage relationship between two beings each
made in the image of God. We will cover roles of male and female in
marriage later on in the message.
Nor is this
intended as a slam against single people. A single person can also be
whole and complete. Jesus was single…. Paul drew out the spiritual
significance of singleness in his epistles… but right now we are
specifically discussing marriage.
Where Do We Find The Most Important Biblical Teaching on Marriage?
Gen 2:24-25
– once again its right here at the very beginning of the book. From
this short verse we are going to find 4 fundamental concepts
regarding marriage. Leaving/Joining/Oneness/Goodness/and then I am
going to add another… Authority
ONE: Leaving Your Father & Mother… to Establish a New Family Unit
Honoring your
parents, closeness, seeking their advice is a good thing… and
advisable. But, you two are a new family unit. The family you grew up
in had their own way of doing things… but that does not mean your
spouse will want to do things the same way. Their family had their
own manners & traditions which they likely see as equally valid.
So, you must
learn to work together, in harmony. Showing respect, honor,
understanding and love toward each other. This sounds like something
very simple like you learned in kindergarten… yet, it is a highly
spiritual principle and one that reflects the relationship between
Christ and the church.
TWO: Joined & United Together
Another way to
say it might be to bond together… other than bonding with God,
bonding with your spouse should be your highest commitment and
priority. We build that bond through actions… physical affection,
hugs, kissing, affectionate and kind words, gifts, acts of service,
spending time together, willingness to listen, showing humility in
working out differences.
Mention Love
Languages Book
A common
misconception is that love is an emotion… not so. Desire is an
emotion but the love that desire leads to is actions. The truth is
that loving relationships must be worked at, they require mental and
physical effort. Love is care and consideration that is shown to,
done towards the other person.
Discuss James
– faith and works etc.
THREE: Oneness…. Become One Flesh
I Corinthians
7:3-5 A loving sexual relationship is central to successful
marriage.
What is sex?
Today people talk about human sexuality as nothing more than a
necessary biological function... animals breathe / so do humans…
animals eat / so do humans… animals have sex / so do humans… I
want it, I need it, I’ll get it where I can.
Human sex is different… Why would I say that?
What makes sex
more than a mere biological function when its humans men and women
who are doing it?
Only humans
appear to engage in sex for pleasure outside of reproduction. In that
way it is one of the means by which a man and a woman unite and bond
their lives together as mentioned in point 2. Also, for human sex to
be safe and secure for both parties it needs to be performed in an
environment of faithfulness and loyalty… which only marriage
provides… sex outside marriage is a minefield of disease and
contamination… producing children outside of marriage is dangerous
and often disastrous.
As part of human
reproduction sex within marriage is a special act that we are to hold
in high esteem. It is the act that leads to the creation of a new
being who also bears the image of God. In this way, becoming one
flesh, we fulfill God’s desire that we produce Godly offspring.
Malachi 2:15
Human sex is the
act that initiates new life after the likeness of God in the flesh
that has the potential to become spirit life in the family of God…
of the God kind. Note: It is not the sex act itself but the product
of sexual activity, the godly offspring, that fulfills our physical
part in God’s plan to reproduce Himself after His own kind on a
spirit level… I say this because confusion along these lines leads
the infinitely creative human mind to some very weird places.
Hebrews 13:4
Because of the role human sexuality has in God’s design for the
universe it is to be treated as something honorable and kept pure. I
think the element of purity introduced here is a NT reference to the
OT teaching on clean and unclean, holiness and defilement… but it
could also be a reference to purity in the sense of “unmixed with
foreign elements”… for example “pure gold”… either way it
is a state or status that human sexuality can only achieve within the
boundaries of marriage according to God’s guidelines.
Likewise, the
relationship of Christ and the Church is honorable, pure, faithful,
loyal, safe and secure for those who are part of the assembly of God
.And His desire is that we be as one with Him.
Caveat: sex
outside of marriage also produces new life in the image of God. And
that new life has the same potential for son-ship in the family of
God as anyone. But a sexual relationship outside of marriage does not
picture the relationship of Christ and the church. It is something
completely different.
FOUR: Not Ashamed
Gen 2:25
the man and the woman were not ashamed of their nakedness when they
were together. Sexuality was not and is not dirty, nasty, or
degrading. The husband and wife should feel comfortable with each
other’s bodies and with their respective femininity and
masculinity.
The first man and
the woman were alone… there was no potential for outsiders to look
at them. So, their nakedness together is not an argument for public
nudity as a more natural and Godly state… or a rationalization for
boldly revealing your body to others.
I don’t have
any regulations for you on hemlines, necklines, heel heights,
tightness or sheerness… I want you work that out for yourselves.
But I do have some spiritual principles I want you to consider when
you are working out your wardrobe.
Enticement &
temptation – overly revealing clothing on both men and women is
like an invitation to outsiders and strangers into that physical
intimacy that should be only experienced in marriage. I understand
this is conditioned by the setting… what is considered overly
revealing here at a Sabbath service or at a public restaurant is
different from what is considered overly revealing swimming at the
beach. Use the wisdom God has given you and be willing to take
counsel from the older generation in this regard.
Pride &
vanity – I’ve heard more than once “my husband likes it
when I dress like this, he wants me to look sexy”… “I want to
look attractive and modern”… I am not going to offer you a
psychoanalysis on what’s driving ideas like this all I ask is that
you think about the motive and intent behind ideas like this and look
honestly at your own intent.
I Peter 3:1-7
Modesty in how we reveal our bodies says a lot about us as a
person.
-
What is your level of respect for your own sexuality and its high level purpose in God’s plan
-
what is your level of respect for others not leading them into lust or ENVY,
-
What is your level of respect for God and His desire that sexuality be contained within a marriage relationship that is pure and set apart
FIVE: God Ordained Authority
As we have
mentioned the marriage relationship teaches us about the relationship
of Christ… AND the Church and Christ’s relationship to the church
teaches us about marriage. Christ’s relationship to the church is a
model of loving leadership and appropriate respect for the leader’s
authority.
Eph 5:22-33
the word love here is agape… the word for respect is phobeo
meaning fear
The way Jesus
leads the church is the way husbands should lead their wives (and
families). Jesus Christ is the model of selfless love toward you,
commitment to you, attention to your needs, hearing you when you need
to talk, and He always has your best interests at heart. A human
leader like that would be easy to follow… wouldn’t he?
The Response to Loving Leadership is Not Guaranteed
Would you treat
a loving leader him as a pushover? Or would you respond with respect?
I think some people would go for option 1 … for many people seem to
take Christ’s love for granted and don’t respond with respect for
His commands in return…
“Yeah but my
husband isn’t like that… I’d start respecting him if he’d
just shape up”. Women… you cannot withhold respect until he
begins to act the way you want. Men… you cannot command that she
submit while acting in a manner that is unloving.
Is that how
Christ deals with the church? Is that how He deals with you as an
individual? No
The scriptures
clearly teach that both in marriage and in life… each of us should
do our part even if the other person does not. Individuals
acting alone can positively influence a marriage partner… as we
read in 1 Peter 3
Why are men in charge?
Are women
inferior? Is it a sexist or demeaning relationship for women? If
women were in charge wouldn’t we be asking… Why are women in
charge?
Consider this:
somebody has to be in charge. If authority in the family were merit
based then marriage would be a contest… a constant struggle for
dominance and control… we’d be so obsessed about who’s in
charge that we’d have little time to do all the other stuff we just
talked about.
The things that
lead to harmony, love, oneness, loyalty affection and all the rest...
putting on the mind of Christ.
When Christ
return He will have all authority. There will be no contest to see
who’s the best or the most fit to lead… no politics or wars to
settle the matter. Think about how much time and energy and pain goes
into determining who’s in charge in human society. With Christ in
charge we will have time to focus on actions that express love,
harmony, respect, oneness, unity and so much more.
Post a Comment